Finding Diana

An everyday woman's guide to figuring out what the hell happened to her life



Welcome to my world.  I am trying to figure out what became of me and I want to share this agonizing journey with the general public.

Please feel free to comment, but not to judge.  Ok, well we will all be judging, but just don't let me know about it.

Send me an invite

I am picking up the writing again after a conversation I had yesterday with someone at a birthday party.  Not a kids birthday party- an adult's birthday party.  I was very happy to be invited to the party.  Why?  Because it felt genuine.  What does that mean?  Well, I was thinking about that. 

First, it didn't seem like everyone and their mother was invited because of social obligations.  I hate going places where I am invited, but don't feel comfortable being there.  Everyone has this experience, where you are invited to a party, dinner, outing or whatever but you know damn well that it is out fof social obligation.  "Well, I invited Muffy and Fluffy, so I guess I have to invite Diana too because she will find out about it anyway"  or worse "I am inviting all first grade parents"  How ironic when you are invited somewhere, but don't enjoy it!


That is why I so much enjoyed being invited to a reasonably smallish gathering.  The feeling of being included in something is very good.  Especially when you like the people so much.  If you don't like the people and you have to go out of obligation, then its not so good.  Everyone has that experience too.  "Sure, I'd love to accompany my spouse to a retirement party at his work for someone I don't know"


I think everyone seeks a feeling of inclusion because it is a validation.  "Gd dammit, someone thinks its cool to hang out with me"  And of course they are right.  Sometimes I don't care if I'm not included and I find out about it later and sometimes I do.  I usually am pretty dismissive about the whole thing "I'm glad you guys had fun".  Occasionally it irrationally bothers me "you mean you had a dinner for young lawyers and didn't invite me?"


The absolute worst is when you think you are being invited by the "popular" mom, but it turns out it is a fake party to try and sell you something.  It starts out as an evite.  Ohhh, an evite that is not for my child.  What could it be?  Is it a Haddasah meeting?  No?  Ahhh... wait, its an invitation from Darcy, her daughter is in my son's class.  what could it be?  A coffee social?  A cocktails and book discussion?  Nooo.  Big disappointment.  Its a party to sell (pick one or a combination) kitchenware, clothes, jewelry, stationary, hats, and I kid you not, adult toys and lingere.  What could be more uncomfortable than being in a room full of aquaintences where they discuss how and why they use adult toys.  No discounts on the floor models.


Anyway, usually all it takes for me to show up is the promise of food and/or drinks.   Unless its a PTO meeting or a committee meeting of any kind.  Then even the allure of free steak and wine could not move me to attend. 

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