By Diana's blog | July 24, 2010 at 04:17 PM EDT | No Comments
Oh, the unimaginable frustrations of trying to make someone else do something. My son does not want to do his summer book report. This sounds like a small thing, but it's not. It's a symbol of the overall frustration many people, especially women, feel everyday.
In this case, my son avoids the work, causing me to nag, nag, nag. I can't do it for him, so I feel powerless and enraged and resentful. This is also how I feel about housework that others are supposed to do that doesn't get done. I don't want to be a nag, so if I don't say anything and let him face the natural consequences, he will suffer. I let this happen when the consequences aren't too bad. But when you are starting a new school and you really need the practice writing, it requires nagging.
It is a very frustrating feeling to feel powerless to make something happen that you feel responsible for. It makes me feel resentful and upset that I have all the pressure and none of the tools to make it happen. When I do have the means, I get stuff done. A lot of stuff. Crazy amounts of stuff. I can make elaborate dinners on short notice, stay up with children completing assignments deep into the night, arrange for complex carpools, and plan a birthday party - all in the same day. Without the obstacle of having to depend on someone else to do their part, I can move mountains.
I know that makes it sound like I don't like to share. Not true. I would much rather be a cog in the wheel than have to reinvent it all the time. Its also not that I am a control freak. I am very happy to let the other ladies run school events and I can volunteer to be bossed about. I don't feel the need to add my two cents because my responsibility is limited to the task that I am handling.
So when can I relax and not have to be held hostage by the crushing amount of responsibility? I guess thats what the retirement home is for.