Finding Diana

An everyday woman's guide to figuring out what the hell happened to her life



Welcome to my world.  I am trying to figure out what became of me and I want to share this agonizing journey with the general public.

Please feel free to comment, but not to judge.  Ok, well we will all be judging, but just don't let me know about it.

I support you

It was like a bad sitcom, only it was my real life.  I finally decided that I need to find a grief support group to help me deal with my persistent feelings of sadness and loss about my dad.  So, I looked around and lo and behold, my synagogue has a grief support group.  So, I planned my week around it, cancelled some plans and made sure I could make the wednesday meeting.

After throwing dinner at the kids and leaving my husband in a sea of screaming children, I arrive at the synagogue ready to grieve in a group.  I walk in and there are plenty of groups meeting in rooms.  None of them look sad, so I asked the rabbi who was in the hall where the grief group is.  He said that it wasn't meeting any longer because not enough people signed up.  

What?  Am I the only person in Houston who grieves?  Is everyone else happy with their losses?  Does no one else feel like there is an empty hole in their life?  Apparently so.  Talk about feeling alone!  What am I to do?

I realize I could see a therapist, but I really don't have the time.  I work full time and have two children in sports.  That alone puts me at home at 9:00 two nights a week.  I try to make plans once a week to meet a girlfriend for dinner and let my husband go out with the guys once a week.  There is all my time.  There is no time to commit to seeing a therapist every week.  Thats why a support group, without the commitment, seemed like a good idea.

Oh well, maybe I could pretend that I went to an overeaters anonymous group and it had disbanded.  Or lap banded.  Therefore, I am off the hook and free to gorge on halloween candy.  Perhaps I could go to a Resenters Anonymous group.  I have a lot of resentment about the demands on me and the lack of appreciation I feel.  I would drop dead of shock (and thus causing someone else to need a grief support group) if I ever came home from work to a dinner that was made, laundry folded, homework completed and a kind, nag-free evening of watching my favorite shows.  I think that is what they call heaven.

I could have a lot of fun making up support group.  I'll begin with road rage anonymous.  How come I am the only one with good driving skills wherever I go?  Not all the people on the road would agree with that statement, but it's my group so lets go with it.  I could have this group where we re-live our most stressful moments on the road and scream obscenities at each other.  Since I assume everyone in both Texas and NY are armed, I can never scream at them in real life.  I don't think my suggestions about where they should put their drive shaft are appreciated.

Supermarket fatigue support group.  Am I in the Groundhog's day movie or do I constantly find myself wandering the same isles of the supermarket?  Somehow I expect that a great and easy dinner idea will jump off the shelves and into my arms.  Instead, I go to one end of the store and realize that I must have an ingredient all the way of the other end of this olympic stadium sized store.  No way I can do without fresh rosemary for a recipe I may or may not make in the next 10 weeks.  Better to trapse for fifteen minutes pushing an overflowing cart of processed products than to go without it.

Any ideas for more support groups that wont be empty when I show up to them?

1 comment | Add a New Comment
1. Lucka | November 17, 2011 at 01:33 PM EST

This could not psosilby have been more helpful!

Add a New Comment

(Enter the numbers shown in the above image)