Finding Diana

An everyday woman's guide to figuring out what the hell happened to her life



Welcome to my world.  I am trying to figure out what became of me and I want to share this agonizing journey with the general public.

Please feel free to comment, but not to judge.  Ok, well we will all be judging, but just don't let me know about it.

Back in the saddle again


After being away from the blog for many months, I am returning in full force.  Why have I returned?  I have had several requests and I also need an outlet to vent my pent up rage.  Sounds like a fun ride. Here goes....

Here is the rant of of the over-stressed mother (what I would actually say to my kids if I could afford to pay for the therapy needed to process this):


Why on earth do you think that just because you were born, that gives you a never ending entrance ticket to the unlimited buffet you call the kitchen?  I'm so sick of constantly standing in the kitchen taking orders for an endless varity of foods.  Or worse, the child who will only tell me what she doesn't like.  Tuna?  Sure, I will take out the food processor, assemble the ingredients, put it in a sandwich and before I can rinse out the bowl hear "what else do you have?  I'm starving?".

Sure, I can make a grilled cheese, after painstakingly reassembling the last broken piece of bread because Gd forbid one of my children should have to eat mangled bread, only to hear "I never said I wanted grilled cheese, you know I meant a hamburger when I said that". 

At the very same moment comes the "I can't eat that" child.  Can't eat half the foods in creation due to extensive orthodontia.  Can't eat foods that have a crust.  Or contain brown.  Or have cheeses other than cheddar. Or are past their expiration date, which everyone knows is a corporate ruse to try and get me to throw out marginally good food.  Can't eat anything that may look spicy. Nothing with too much green.  Unless it is broccoli.  But wait, she will only eat broccoli with a specific chicken dish I make.

Then is the super skinny teenager who will only eat foods she deems "not gross".  That is limited to about four items, one of which is sushi.  Why don't I just make sushi.  Sure there are a lot of large white women rolling up their sushi mats to try and please their teenager.  Surely that would cost a fortune in ingredients I would never ever use again and equipment that would require extensive washing.  Of course it would come out "gross", and why was I too cheap to just take them all out to dinner every single night.

OK fine, let's go out to dinner. But not before a 45 mintue screaming match about where to go. No one wants the same food as any other.  When we get to the restaurant, there is so much whining and moaning that I could have stayed at home to be uncomfortable and annoyed.  Why pay a restaurant $50 minimum when they will all complain anyway?

Well, to hell with it, I am going to drink my box of wine (go ahead and judge away) so I won't much care what damn food the kids eat tonight. 




2 comments | Add a New Comment
1. SBS | December 02, 2012 at 09:51 PM EST

Glad you are back!I too feel like my house is a buffet... and I drink boxed wine... actually the one Robin introduced me to! Cheers!

2. Sasha | November 18, 2013 at 09:21 PM EST

When I first read this, I remembered my Romanian langgaue teacher telling us that our langgaue has some very unique words, and in the end, the one she gave as an example is actually the exact meaning of saudade\' : dor\' used in songs and poetry and so many literature examples up to common speech.What I do like about saudade, is the phonetics (I\'ve heard it a lot in Brazilian soaps back home) I love how Portuguese sounds

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